In addition to being models of heroism, fathers are called to foster the superhero that exists in each of their children.
They are supposed to be a mentor and teacher.
Who are the great mentors in media?
Obi-Wan Kenobi from Star Wars and Mr. Miyagi from The Karate Kid come to mind.
They are wise, kind, confident, supportive teachers.
They don’t do the work for the hero, though.
Mentors usually meet the hero when he is young, untrained, and perhaps reckless.
They accept the hero where he is, but they show him a different way.
They provide practical wisdom to their mentees.
This could take the form of teaching them how to handle a bully, balance a bank account, create a budget, pray a holy hour, fix a flat tire, or find a good deal.
Mentors stay in the background.
Their job is to support, not to be the star of the movie.
As fathers, it is not about us and our glory.
Nevertheless, mentors set a good example.
If we want our children to be responsive and take initiative, we must show them how.
We must notice things that need to be done, perhaps around the house, and invite our children to do jobs with us.
When our kids take initiative, we should notice this and affirm them with a “good job” or “Thanks, buddy.”
At the end of the day, our children see that we are men of action, and they are “one of us.”
Mentors are honest, diligent men of integrity.
They keep their promises and follow through on commitments.
They pay attention to the small details and take pride in their work.
They also take the rap if they fail to follow through.
There’s no room for blaming others or playing the victim when things go wrong.
Mentors not only take responsibility for mistakes, but they are also more than willing to make honest reparations when needed.
Mentors courageously stand up for their beliefs, even if those beliefs are not popular.
It takes courage to be true to yourself and stand up to injustice.
The superhero Daredevil is sometimes called “the man without fear.”
In reality, you can’t have courage without some fear– that’s too easy— that’s not courage.
Facing your fears is hard.
Standing up to unjust systems takes courage.
We need to show our children that we experience fear, but we work through it with courage.
Good mentors must have patience.
They are not irritable, pushy, or quick to anger.
They know it will take their child more than one try.
They know that learning takes time.
This patience instills confidence in children.
When you’re patient, children see that you’re willing to wait, because you believe in them.
It might be difficult to know you’re being watched, but you are.
Your child will know you better than anyone and he or she will call you out on hypocrisy— maybe not right away, but definitely in time for adolescence.
Hopefully, this will inspire us to be better men.
Given that none of us is perfect, it is valuable for our children to see us making an effort and learning as well.
Where is the Lord asking you to be a more loving and present mentor to your children?
