In the Christian life, there are times when we enthusiastically throw ourselves into prayer and asceticism, and we are conscious of the fruit that our efforts and God’s graces are bearing in our lives.
At other times, however, prayer feels like a burden; we are exhausted at the very thought of making any effort in our lives of faith.
Instead of feeling our Heavenly Father’s loving presence, we instead feel estranged from God, we imagine that he cannot love us, and we certainly do not feel warmth at the thought of him.
Commitments to prayer and discipline that we made in moments of fervor now seem ridiculous to us. Perhaps we are even tempted to neglect the duties proper to our states in life, such as being present to our wives and children or being attentive to our work.
We may find ourselves obsessing about minor things like the polish on our truck or the arrangement of our garage, but neglecting personal relationships and growth in a life of faith and love.
If we find ourselves in this bleak state of desolation, we may also feel alone, abandoned by God, and maybe estranged from our friends in faith.
We may even doubt the reality of spiritual joy we have previously experienced.
The dark clouds that now seem to fill our spiritual lives may be accompanied by whispering voices that seem to say this is what reality is like and this is what we are to expect forevermore.
We may feel imprisoned or enslaved to such darkness.
St. Ignatius of Loyola calls these experiences “spiritual desolations,” and the desert fathers call these the sufferings of “acedia,” that is, spiritual despondency.
Every Christian should expect to face such a trial, perhaps even repeatedly, throughout his life.
But Christ, however, sheds light on us in this darkness and frees us from our desolation.
Just as in our journey through Exodus 90, in which our brothers can support us in the journey, so too can our brothers in Christ who have gone before us support us in our struggles with spiritual desolation.
Many saints have left guidance for how we should respond to such experiences.
Through their wisdom, we learn to hear Christ’s voice, even in the midst of our desolation, crying out, “Let my people go!”
Christ offers us freedom and love even at the lowest point of our spiritual dejection.
In the following meditations, we will study the wisdom of St. Ignatius of Loyola and the desert fathers, learning how to recognize spiritual desolation and knowing its causes and effects.
Then, equipped with this knowledge, we will consider what we can do to free ourselves from the sufferings of spiritual desolation.
Today, take a moment to take stock of your spiritual life.
Are you experiencing fervor and zeal?
Are you feeling spiritually dry?
Are you somewhere in the middle?
Ask Christ to be present to you in whatever state you find yourself, and pray to the Holy Spirit to guide your discernment.
